Net Worth? Try Self-Worth.

It is almost impossible not to overhear other people’s conversations when travelling by plane. A woman was very comfortably sitting on her seat when all of a sudden she heard this question: “So, what are you worth?” As an answer, the gentleman cited portfolio figures, property holdings, and his net financial wealth. Her first thought was: “Holy cow! I hope nobody measures my worth by what’s in my savings account; otherwise I’m in trouble.”

I would have thought exactly the same! This short dialogue made me think more about we use wealth or other externalities to assign value to individuals.

We could create a long list of codes we nowadays use to rank people: what they wear, the phone they have, the laptop they use, their car, the music they listen to, what size they are, what status their relationship is in, where they live, the films they watch, and many other things, it could be a never-ending list. There are studies that show these things things that seem like they are just describing actually set the rules for certain behaviors and beliefs that are considered important for being accepted and feeling valuable.

Wealth, physical appearance, education, race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, religious affiliation, and political party are just some categories that can be used to lift some folks up and bring others down.

Whether we want to or not, it’s natural for people to compare and place value on others. Usually, we think people who are similar to us are more valuable than those who are different. It’s become a common saying, but we are scared of what we don’t understand, so differences are seen as strange or bad. On the other hand, being around people we know makes us feel comfortable, so being the same becomes more important. Also, fears like not being good enough or not measuring up can make us act in negative ways. Because we worry we are not good enough, we try to look better than others to feel like we are worthy.

I was born in Uruguay, South America, my passport is Spanish, a daughter-in-law is Spanish, a son-in-law is American and a son-in-law-to-be is South African. Does that make me more worthy than others? It does not!

This reminds me of an anecdote from many years ago.

The Mayor of my city in Uruguay and my dad shared the same last name. He had a daughter, just 1 or 2 years younger than me whose name was Veronica. Many people confused us because we were Monica and Veronica with the same last name, both same age, both wearing glasses. One day when I was a young unconscious teenager I was driving my motorcycle when the police stopped me. When asked for my driving license I gave it to the policeman wishing he didn’t realise it hadn’t been valid for 2 months. Obviously, that didn’t happen. That was the first thing he saw, it’s expired, he said. My reaction surprised even me:  Really??? You must be wrong!

I’m not, he said. He kept looking at the driving license with great interest and asked me: are you the mayor’s daughter?

At this point I was even MORE surprised of myself:  Yes! Sounding very convincing.

His last words were: keep driving this time and please promise you’ll get a new one as soon as possible.

Some time later I met Veronica and told her what had happened.

She had also been stopped by the police and she also had her license expired. She had mentioned she was the Mayor’s daughter and the answer had been: I don’t mind who you are, you will have to pay a fine.

It does not matter if your dad is the Mayor of the city, how many properties you have, what jeans you wear, your wealth, physical appearance, education, race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, religious affiliation or political party.

Why? Simply because you are a human being, and all human beings have an incredible value.